Avail - You

Avail - You

it's not an accusation, i freeze when i see you and i can still feel
you breath
you say i spread lies for attention as you play victim
their minds set on who to believe
i can't sit here pitied and self absorbed
but i can't scrub this scent clean
i've tried before and i'm sure i can't explain in words
or thoughts the way i've kicked and fought
and fought myself to be sane to come clean and
begin at last again
sure i could give up and those i praise
woudln't give a fuck
so much for friends, so much for feelings now
why don't you spit in my face
for bringing shame to your name
you and i know for sure
behind closed doors
it was you against me
i won't sit here blamed and ignored
as i rinse the stains clean without support
and i'm sure i can't explain in words or thought
the lessons i was taught
as i fought while you used force for gain
and i was skin deep in shame
now i won't let up
i'll tread the heals of your every step
so much for friends, so much for feelings now
why don't you spit in my face
for bringing shame to your name
you and i know for sure
behind closed doors
it was you against me